When I was in high school, I read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, and that book was a major turning point for me because it really opened my eyes to a new perspective on life. I realized that the dystopian society the book takes place in was so amazingly similar to our own, and it really made me stop and think. Somehow, reading that book shocked me into a whole new perspective of society, and suddenly I became hyper-aware of just how the world worked (or so my high-school self thought).
After I read Fahrenheit 451 (which I 100% recommend), I decided to read Walden by Henry David Thoreau. Of course, it was great to go from a book that displays the bad things about society, to a book that praises disconnecting from society altogether!
In Walden, Thoreau writes about his experiences living off of the land, and what he describes was my dream life for a while. He describes his lifestyle, which I consider the perfect form of simple living, even though nowadays his lifestyle would probably be unachievable.
These books, and I think a few others as well, were super important to me back then. I loved the way that just made me think really deeply about my life, and the way society moves around me. That was one of the best points in my life so far, because I felt super aware of who I was. I was constantly writing in my journal, and it’s interesting to go back and read, since I would literally write down every thought that crossed my mind.
I would love to get back to that awareness, or just get as close as I can to how it was back then. I felt very in tune with who I was and I was able to forgive myself for my past mistakes, which meant I wasn’t kept awake at night feeling embarassed all over again! It was much easier in high school because life just didn’t get in the way so much then!
Things are obviously so different now that it’s been a couple years, and things have changed so much in that time. It was much easier in high school because life just didn’t get in the way so much then! Although, I love where I am now in my life and I feel like almost everything is working out really well for me. So when I say I want to get back to where I was, I mean I’d love to incorporate more of that awareness into my current life.
However, no matter how many times I talk about living consciously or appreciating the small things, I find myself back on the same old routine of constantly doing something to stay distracted rather than living in the moment. I play puzzle games on my phone all the time, and even though I enjoy doing those puzzles, it really distracts me from being present in my life. The more time I spend on those games, the more I just want to do that all day long, and it makes me feel like I’m unable to do anything else that day even if it’s something I want to do.
I think a lot of people have something they use to distract them, especially now that we’re stuck at home, and it’s impossible to escape from all the bad news and the misleading headlines. There is so much panic everywhere you look, and distracting yourself from it all helps temporarily. If we could all become aware of ourselves and the world around us, we could all get through this together as we acknowledge the reality even though we prefer not to think about it. If we can acknowledge the things we have done in the past and the things we do now, we can forgive ourselves, and then we as a society can move forward.
I definitely rambled on a bit more than I planned! Any feedback on these thoughts is more than welcome <3